Before I made it to a successful businesswoman who helps 1000’s worldwide achieve their dreams in different areas of life, I was an insecure, dependent, desperate for approval young girl who was scared to leave her comfort zone and pursue her dreams. My self-destructive mindset got me into so much trouble that I even considered giving up so many time.
I was born into a poor Cypriot family in 1979. My parents struggled financially and worked in a shoe factory from morning to night to make ends meet. Due to my parents’ financial struggles and many other issues, my family home environment was anything but loving and affectionate. At school, my grades were terrible. After school, My siblings and I would head to the shoe factory to work with our parents until late in the evening before heading home. I adopted a rebellious nature and often skip classes. I built up a lot of resentment, anger, and hatred toward my family and society. I was miserable and hated my life. And at the age of thirteen, I ran away from home. That same evening, I was found by a social worker sleeping on a bench outside a train station miles away from home. I was sent to a foster home. The first night at the new home, I sat in bed in the dark and cried for hours. I built up a lot of fear, mistrust, and low self-esteem. Two months later I went back home to live with my biological parents but nothing had changed. Resentment was running free on both sides, due to my shaming the family name, and this led to even more anger inside my family home.
Some months later, the whole family moved to Cyprus in an attempt to live a better life, but I hated living in Cyprus as I had left behind the only school friends I had. I became uncontrollable and would continually run away from home. Each time my father found me, he brought me back, but I would run away again. At the age of fifteen, I ran away for the last time. This time, her father never came to find me which is what I wanted. I hitched a ride to a city far away. I had no money, no friends, and no idea what I was going to do. I got myself a job as a waitress, and within a few months, alcohol and marijuana abuse became a part of my daily life. Little did I know that this self-destructive lifestyle was the beginning of a ten-year uphill battle with heroin and cocaine.
During this period of alcohol abuse, I was sexually abused which piled onto my already existing dysfunctional life. My life was falling apart as I went from disaster to disaster.
I started hanging out with toxic people and began experimenting with heroin and cocaine; I became so addicted that my entire life revolved only around how I would get my next fix. This addiction cost me my job and as I could no longer support my habit, I started to traffic small amounts to feed my habit. I got arrested for drug possession and faced with a possible five-eight-year prison sentence. However, I was released after only eight-days with the firm condition that I sought professional help. Upon my release, my parents insisted that I move back home with them so they can support me, and although I didn’t want to due to old unresolved hurt, I had nowhere else to go.
Two months later, I was in a car accident. I remember waking up in a hospital with facial injuries, severe drug withdrawal symptoms, and deep depression – I felt so exhausted and lost. And due to this unfortunate car accident piling up on my already existing dysfunctional life, I contemplated suicide. I feared for my life and so I signed myself into a psychiatric institution, and from then on, I was in and out of hospitals.
Some years later, I moved back to England with a family member to start treatment programs but nothing worked. Instead, I overdosed many times. Due to overwhelming guilt and shame that my family saw me in this uncontrollable state, I abandoned my family home, and that’s when I found myself homeless on the streets of London for two years. I slept on street corners and waste areas. To survive, I turned to shoplift which got me imprisoned twice. Upon my release from prison, I returned to Cyprus for therapy with the financial help of a family member. Six months on prescribed medication made me extremely confused and depressed. I was exhausted, nothing was working, and that’s when I attempted suicide by pills.
Some years later, I woke up one morning in a state of such intensive panic. Negative, disturbing thoughts were haunting me. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. And from then on, anxiety became a part of my life. My life was slipping away before my eyes and I could not do anything to stop it. And to make matters worse, my family was suffering with me. And that’s when I realized that I had to make a life-altering decision between continuing on my current path of slow death or building up enough strength to change my life positively. And that’s when I made the decision to change my life and live in happiness, love, and well-being. It was time to win back my happiness, my dignity, and my life. I gathered all my strength and courage and, together with my family, took the first step into the unknown of recovery – and that’s when my healing journey began.